Ouran Host Club Rules and Guidelines
by rhythmeticVagabond
Summary: During his most boring classes, 'prince' Tamaki writes out some guidelines for his 'subjects'. Rated T to be completely safe. MultiChapter.
1. The Twins, Hikaru and Kaoru

Tamaki sat in his desk during math class. It was the most dreaded class of the day. He had before him a sheet of notebook paper obviously there for extra checking and problem working out. He smirked and got an idea. He would write up rules for every host member. He _was _the prince, right?

**PAGE 001**

**OURAN HOST CLUB RULES AND GUIDELINES**

**CHAPTER 1**

**THE TWINS; HIKARU AND KAORU**

_**1. THE TWINS MAY NOT TEASE HARUHI**_

Tamaki glanced around him to make sure nobody was watching him write.

_**2. THE TWINS MAY NOT PHOTOSHOP ANY...SUGGESTIVE PICTURES OF HARUHI**_

It bothered Tamaki that those two things had happened...multiple times in the past. Again, he glanced up and made sure the teacher was still yacking away at triginomitry.

_**3. HIKARU NEEDS TO STOP COMING IN IN HIS BOXERS ONLY**_

_**4. KAORU NEEDS TO STOP PUTTING A PAIR OF BOXERS ON HIS HEAD AND WALK IN WEARING A TOWEL AROUND HIMSELF...**_

_**5. NEITHER MAY FLIRT OR GO OUT WITH SAID HARUHI**_

Tamaki was proud of his rules so far.

_**6. THE TWINS MAY NOT PICK ANY COSPLAYS. THE LAST COSPLAY SENT HUNNY SENPAI CRYING, BEING IT WAS JASON VS FREDDIE COSPLAY**_

_**7. DURING CLUB HOURS, THE TWINS MAY NOT GO TOO FAR WITH THEIR BROTHERLY LOVE ACT. IT HAPPENED ONCE AND BLOOD WAS SCRUBBED FROM THE FLOOR DUE TO MASSIVE NOSEBLEEDS. THIS MEANS NO KISSING, YOU TWO.**_

_**8. FAILURE TO FOLLOW ANY OF THESE RULES RESULTS IN STICKING YOU TWO IN SEPERATE ROOMS FOR TWO DAYS AND IF FURTHER BREAKING FOLLOWS PERMENANT SUSPENSION FROM THE OURAN HOST CLUB.**_

Tamaki smiled, looking at his wonderful piece of work. The teacher tapped on his desk, anger written clearly across his face.

"Tamaki, what is three to the eighth power?"

* * *

><p>I don't even know the answer to that math problem nor if an eighth power exists...<p>

but yet to come:  
>Hunny<p>

Mori

Kyoya

Haruhi (hahahahahahahahaha)

and the last chapter when he enforces the laws. :3


	2. Mitsukuni Senpai

Tamaki walked to his next class...Creative Writing. The only class he could basicly get away with writing his guidelines. He took a seat and took out his creative writing binder. He flipped to the back where he labeled it to be the...

**PAGE 003**

**OURAN HOST CLUB RULES AND GUIDELINES**

**CHAPTER 2**

**MITSUKUNI-SENPAI**

Tamaki tapped his chin with his pen, deep in thought. He looked at the teacher, who was talking about how to make a good climax to a novel. Tamaki rolled his eyes and went on with his writing.

_**1. MITSUKUNI MAY NOT EAT ALL THE CAKES. THE GIRLS WANT SOME TOO AND, WHILE THE GIRLS DO ENJOY WATCHING YOU EAT IT, EACH CAKE SEPERATELY COSTS 10000 YEN.**_

_**2. TAKASHI IS NOT YOUR TREE, DO NOT CLIMB ON HIM 24/7. DURING CLUB HOURS IS FINE.**_

_**3. WHEN YOU ARE DONE EATING CAKE OR CANDY OR ANYTHING WITH SUGAR OR ANY FORM OF SUGAR OR SWEETENER, PLEASE BRUSH YOUR TEETH, AS IT MAY CAUSE HARM TO BOTH YOU, THE REST OF THE HOSTS, AND THE GUESTS IF YOU GET A CAVITY AGAIN, THOUGH IT WILL NOT HARM OUR WALLETS.**_

Tamaki looked around worriedly. Hunny was in his class...and if he saw the rules before the club after school, which was a mere few subjects away, he wouldn't stop bothering him. Thankful that Hunny sat two seats behind him, he continued writing.

_**4. IF WE AT ALL SOMEDAY ASK YOU TO BE A GUARD FOR THE HOST CLUB, THE APPROPRIATE ANSWER IS YES. YOUR MARTIAL ARTS SKILLS ARE INSANE AND WE MAY NEED YOU AND TAKASHI IN THE FUTURE.**_

_Thats basically all of the rules that are actually needed for Hunny... _Tamaki thought. He smiled with his work. But, to his dispair, he was called upon to read what he was so dilligently working on that he ignored the teacher. Tamaki stuttered as he walked toward the front of the room.

"Thi...This story is called 'The Dinosaur That Could Fly'..." Tamaki stuttered, holding his rules sheet infront of him. His improv wasn't too good but he wasn't too bright either so that was sort of a help to him. Everyone laughed as he finished.

"Thank You..." he mumbled, sitting down. How he would have loved to answer another triginomitry question...


	3. Takashi and Kyoya

Already humiliated, Tamaki went to his English class. Japanese students needed to know other languages, be bilingual, right?

Tamaki took a seat in his desk which was thankfully in the back corner. (His english teacher doesn't like him too much)

He decided that in one sitting he would to Mori (Takashi) and Kyoya.

**OURAN HOST CLUB RULES AND GUIDELINES**

**PAGE 004**

**TAKASHI AND KYOYA **

**TAKASHI...**

**YOU NEED TO TALK MORE. I UNDERSTAND NOT BEING SOCIABLE, BUT PLEASE, AT LEAST SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO.**

**KYOYA...**

**AT THE END OF CLUB HOURS, LET ME SEE YOUR BLACK BOOK. NOT WRITING ANYTHING INNAPROPRIATE, ARE WE?**

**YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE POSITION OF 'MOMMY'. SO YOU HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME.**

"Um Tamaki?" someone asked. Tamaki jumped, realising it was Kyoya.

"Yes?" Tamaki asked, trying to act nonchalant as he took the paper off his desk.

"What were you writing?"

"Nothing."

"I saw my name and Mori's name and 'ouran host club'."

"YOU SAW NOTHING!" Tamaki shouted, causing everyone in the class to stare.

"Mr. Suoh," the teacher said menacingly. Tamaki slouched in his seat.

"Yes?" he said in less then a whisper.

"How do you say _houkago no inokori _in english?" the teacher asked. Tamaki didn't answer, but realised what he meant.

"This means, Mr. Suoh, you will come immediately to me after your little 'host club', understood?"

"Yes sir," Tamaki mumbled.


End file.
